I’m in recovery. Well, actually, I am in New Mexico, and loving it, but in the fitness sense of things, I am going through a serious case of withdrawal–and it’s only been 4 days.
Have any of you guys tried Pure Barre yet? I feel like I would have heard about it if you had, because it’s literally the most addicting workout I’ve ever done. BLAST900 comes close, but sometimes I want to slap those instructors. Pure Barre instructors, I just want to snatch their bodies and pass them as my own.
And, my note about New Mexico wasn’t a totally random one–I signed up for Pure Barre thinking it’d be a good way to get my core and my thighs back in ski shape. (Will let you about that tonight).
So, here’s the skinny – which is very much an intended pun, since the instructors are the skinniest people with muscle tone that I’ve ever seen – It’s the most expensive workout you’ll ever spend money on. So, get on board with the franchise fest happening now and take advantage of the grand opening and new member specials that let you get really, really addicted for a lower price.
I signed up at Johns Creek for $100, which bought me 30 days of unlimited classes. I think I went 21. Pretty good, right?? To start, I had many a moment where the teacher said to lift this or that, and I would catch my scrunched up face in the mirror, clearly saying, ‘is it lifting?’
But, hold fast. The burning in your core, the confusion over which way to point or flex your toe and the shameless (no, really) awkwardness of just how many ways (and times) you can hump the air starts to make sense after awhile. And, because the ladies in charge follow the same formula, even if the moves are different, you’ll catch on, and eventually lift with the best of them.
Here’s why I like it…
1. You know what’s coming: Every class is structured the same, so you know when you can fight for a few more seconds or inches and when you can’t. But while the formula is the same, the moves are almost always different, so your cockiness over getting that hip bone to lift out its socket doesn’t last past one class.
2. The music is awesome: Over the course of my 21 classes, I got to tuck my hips (a.k.a. hump the air) to Pit Bull, Rihanna, Captiol Cities and Katy Perry. Nothing offers motivation like a Cuban singing about nice butts.
3. It feels feminine: I’ve worked with trainers, I’ve done BLAST… but there’s something about this routine that makes you feel like you’re rocking a workout designed especially for women who want to look like really beautiful women. Know why I wish I stuck it out with ballet? Because ballerina adults are freaking gorgeous. This workout is reminiscent of long, lean, toned muscles that look pretty when they’re stretched and pointed. Plus, guys, I can ALMOST get into a spilt now. (I know!)
4. You can do it anytime: You don’t have to carload before, or after, like high intensity workouts. You can do it right when you wakeup, or right before bed, or on your lunch break. You’ll sweat, you’ll burn calories, but you’re not the illustrative after effects of an Olympic training day.
5. I have seen results. I’m getting the gymnastics dent in my outer thigh, my biceps are coming back and I can do the entire core routine (which means, when I do lose weight, I’ll probably have like a 16-pack and killer loins of Apollo).
..Yes, I may have been so many times in a short period of time that I have the lingo memorized. I led Mike in a one-hundred-percent copycat version of the Pure Barre cool down stretch. (Aaaaand, turn nose to knee, sinking farther into that stretch.) …down to the “give yourselves a hand” speech. He thinks its pretty funny, and I’ve even caught him reciting the workout commands that I will undoubtedly keep saying in my sleep. (Aaaaan down an inch, and up an inch…)
These ladies have mastered the bubbly enthusiasm of working out that I never believed existed. And while I’m not running out to buy leg warmers and $90 sweat pants, I totally respect them. And, I’m saving up so that before bikini season, I can hit it again… or lift it, technically. Or, Mike is going to install a bar in the basement and you guys can come take the class that I’ve memorized for like five bucks, deal?