Could Bruno Mars be a more adorable human being?
Being a miniature person definitely helps, as most small things are, by default, cute (that’s what she never said, ever). But he also has creamy, dreamy skin, croons like silk and looks like a modern day version of Buddy Holly. I adore him.
But, guys, I have to be honest. I hate his music. And I am not even blinking at the use of such a strong word, because seriously, I hate it. The lyrics are always a little over-dramatic, sound ridiculously dumb and come across just a little too close to teeny-bopper tuns that they annoy me more so than the American Family Insurance jingle does when it gets stuck in my head. Now, I understand he’s only about thirteen himself (You’ve seen him… any older and he’s totally lying.) but his potential is so big that the fact he’s ignoring it drives me even further up the wall.
Now, the love part of this relationship circles back around when we talk about him performing live. Whenever he gets on stage with his finger-snapping, arm-swinging, bouffant-haired musical entourage, I’m sold. He’s like a modern day, one-man rat-pack closing down the house with a soulful sound that makes you want to jump and jive yourself. And, again, since he’s pint-sized, his jumps and jives are undeniably adorable. I want to like him when he comes on the radio, but unfortunately without the dance performance, he’s just an overplayed, generically vanilla pop star.
Most recently, though, he hosted SNL. He was simultaneously the musical guest. Opening act – I started to chuckle. Opening skit – best calves on a human being ever. Singing skit – Proved he might make a more successful cover artist. Opening musical performance – Um, this is where the buck stops.
It was awesome. AWESOME, guys. It was the debut of a new tune – Locked Out of Heaven. It was a seven-piece brass band, donned in vintage plaids and suspenders, all synched up to the same jolly dance moves you’ve seen on a Broadway stage.
Uhhh – and the song was awesome. Now, maybe it was so because the first time I heard I was googly-eyed over the performance to back it up, but either way. I crank the volume now when it comes on the radio. And, the fact that Mike wakes up singing it (yes, sometimes without even hearing it recently), makes me think there’s something to it. Now, Mike also wakes up singing Justin Bieber and Rihanna, so of course I assume you’ll take that piece of evidence with a grain of salt.
So, raising my can of Diet Coke to toast this little guy’s future. Here’s to hoping he flakes on the pop and rakes in the vintage-inspired vocals. I am ready to be his number one fan if so.