The Monthly Mom List | Playing Dress-Up

Its no secret that it takes nine months to grow a baby. But, not many people are spreading the word about the nine months it takes (if not more) for you to grow your body back. We hit the three month mark this past weekend, and celebrated with an overnight trip to the grandparents’ house, a road race, a shopping outing and a dinner at a friend’s house. Too much? A la Neighbors, we stayed cool and did leave the cooler at home.

It was more than refreshing to be out among society again, but that’s a heck of a lot more than I can say for the joy of getting dressed and ready. As I am sure moms everywhere (and plenty of other people, period) can agree with me on, nothing fits, nothing looks good and there really is just nothing to wear. Not to mention that once you’ve exhausted your few moments of free time trying on everything in your closet (and ultimately resulting back to your maternity clothes), it’s time to entertain baby before you even got to think about doing your hair or dabbing on mascara.

So, what’s a new mom to do when she’s chomping at the bit to get out, about and in the groove, but she’s got no time for the beauty routine she used to? Luckily, there’s hope – actually a heap of options out there that help you get back to normal in just a few minutes. Stock up for easy, one-step routines to getting out the door and back in style. That totally sounded like a tagline for JC Penny, but hey, I didn’t say everything was back to normal yet.

The problem? It’s too hot for socks and shoes, but your go-to flats are too small for the time being… So, stock up on slip-ons from Old Navy. Not only is the entire stash super affordable ($25 at most), but each pair is comfy and cute so you’ve got a savvy selection for dressing up those maternity jeans. My favorite is the Perforated Slip-On, but I’ve rocked the Wood-Print Flip Flops and wouldn’t look them over in my online shopping cart if I were you. The best part? Everything they’ve got for spring comes in neutral shades, so you don’t have to choose a bright red shoe that you’ll rarely wear just to feel like Stella. Basics are beautiful.

The problem? Nothing fits and nothing looks good. Your body hurts. You’re tired. You want to live in your pajamas, but you can’t wear those to the grocery store. The next best thing is workout gear (you know, the kind you put on to make it look like you’ve got lofty intentions, but you won’t break a sweat doing anything other than trying to shush a baby.) Fabletics to the rescue. Despite that Kate Hudson is a skinny bitch, she can make the heck out of a legging. Fabletics is a monthly workout wear subscription, asking you to spend $50/month (to be a VIP) on a new polyester-spandex clothing cocktail. The best part is, you can skip the month if you don’t have the funds, but when you don’t, you can choose from an array of bright – or basic – colors of leggings, capris, tanks, jackets and accessories that make you feel like you’re really doing something. They’re soft, they’re true to size and I’ve successfully worn them to run, to barre class and to watch daytime TV.

The issue? You’re so tired that it makes you want to cry. Sure, laugh it off as dramatic, but there’s a handful of women out there who may have teared up just reading that line. I hear ya. And when you’re puffy and red-eyed, there’s no way you want the public to fall victim to your worn out eye contact. That’s ok! ICU Eyewear has a line of simple, sophisticated sunglasses that give your peepers some posh, without looking bug-eyed or like a spring breaker at Club LaVila. I chose the XXX because they go with everything and aren’t too bling for my spandex… or too grunge for my (who am I kidding) cocktail dress.

My problem? I am still nursing, but I am over the saggy, wrinkled nursing bras. Yuck. What a horrible part of post-baby. Anybody with me? Although cute (or not so) on the rack, the nursing bra industry has a long way to go. Just because it’s an flap-down cup does not mean it’s just like your regular bras. I’m nauseous just thinking about those squished up cups and sweaty straps. And, with a load of “extra padding” around the bust these days, that bra does little to accentuate those cans, or hide the padding. But, in true Real Housewife form, I discovered Yummie by Heather Thompson. I mean, I didn’t really discover it, per se, but I finally tried it (mostly because it was on Zulily). I am seriously down with the Dynabelly Nursing Bra for trimming up the areas around my baby’s easy access point, and it fits snug, like a sports bra, so you don’t have a cup sliding all over the place. But Yummie’s long nursing tanks are a must – one, because you don’t need a bra with it, but also because it trims the waist down to its long hem, which covers the risk of I HAVE TO SAY IT post-baby camel toe that comes with only wanting to wear leggings.

The downside? You’ve got almost no time – or maybe just no time – to put on makeup. Jane Iredale to the rescue. I am a pretty big fan of this brand, for their quality products, affordability and constant hits on the modern makeup beat. I’ve raved before about the touch of gold glitter, which I still use and love, but now it’s about a one-step process, or nothing at all. Enter, the Getaway Eyeshadow Kit. IT’s a slick, slim compact that let’s you do your eyeshadow in the car, or if you’v got those few seconds at home, everything you need to brighten up is in one place. No more shifting through single color compacts, looking for the perfect shade. This one-stop singlet gives you four colors that create a dramatic look altogether (dinners on the go) or that simple, I-just-want-to-look-awake look. Okay, and here’s the showstopper – a lipstick and cheek balm in one. The Forever Peach Just Kissed Lip and Cheek Stain slides into your purse for easy access to a pucker-worthy pout and rosy cheeks. It seriously cannot get any easier to look alive and well, especially since its chemistry adjusts to skin tone, making your in-the-car application flawless.

Anything you can’t live without? I’d love to hear about it (and potentially justify another shopping trip with it). In the meantime, get out there, moms.